Do your ever wonder if the kind of relationship you want is even possible? Do you wish that you had someone to share your success in business with?
For years working in the corporate world, that’s exactly how Claire Brummell, the Founder of Successful but Single felt.
It took Claire a long time, and a lot of mistakes to reach to the point she’s at now, an international dating and relationships expert helping people around the globe on a daily basis.
…if someone had suggested 10 years ago that she would launch a company to people around the world to create deeply fulfilling relationships she would have laughed. A lot.
You see, this is not the path Claire’s always walked…quite the contrary…she lived a life for many years that was the exact opposite of where she is now.
…which is why she created Successful but Single, to share what she’s learned along the way with you.
As a child, Claire wasn’t what you would call popular. She was the odd one out…the misfit…the girl who followed the rules, and did as she was told. It was definitely not the ‘cool’ thing to do…and it did mean that for the most part she walked around with a big metaphorical target on her back. She was bullied at every school that she attended, and when she moved to an all girl’s school it only got worse.
Here Claire learned that girls were bitchy, mean, untrustworthy and harsh. She had very little self confidence or self esteem…and felt plain, unpopular and very lonely.
Claire felt that the only way to prove her worth was to be successful. The only downside of this was that friends and family saw me as one thing….competition. Claire was always amazed that people could care enough about what she was doing to want to try and ‘out-do’ her…but this seemed to be the case. Claire decided that she didn’t care and was going to continue doing the best that she could regardless of what anyone else thought.
As Claire couldn’t trust many of the girls around her she decided that she would surround myself with guys. She had more male friends than female ones and having been rejected by so many of the women around her, she was determined to be accepted by the guys….so she became “One of the Boys”…and she was really good at it.
She walked like them, talked like them, laughed with them, drank with them, even started wearing men’s clothes. She was completely and totally accepted…to many of her male friends they didn’t even see her as a girl…she was just one of them.
When studying IT at Uni Claire felt right at home. With only a handful of girls on her course she was once again surrounded by guys…and she fitted right in. Claire didn’t earn her stripes by proving she knew her way around a computer system…she did it by drinking them all under the table! It was the way the guys bonded, and Claire fitted right in.
Claire moved into a career in I.T., determined to prove herself just as able as all of the guys in her field. Although there were times when she wasn’t taken seriously, she stuck at it and worked around the clock to show everyone that she was just as good, if not better than the men that she worked with.
She quickly moved from being the ‘girl in I.T.’ whose phone never rang to the company’s ‘go to’ person when someone had an I.T, problem that needed solving.
However, although she had more than proven her skills in I.T. it was clear that Claire wasn’t in the right job. She just didn’t care enough about the job she was doing. She didn’t find it fulfilling. She wanted more.
Claire switched to a career working in marketing for several large media companies. But having chosen to begin her media career in video games, she was again in a male-dominated industry fighting to prove herself and claim her place as an equal.
A further move into TV meant that she was finally doing something that she really enjoyed, but soon after everything changed. The woman Claire worked for left the company and that was when she realised what the company she was working for was all about. Competition. Getting to the top at any cost. Doing whatever it took, without caring who you trampled on the way. It was cut throat. It was all about what people could get for themselves…regardless of the cost. It was a massive shock.
Claire had a problem.
She wasn’t built that way. That was not the way she did business, and it never would be.
Claire was miserable…she needed a major change. So, in the middle of a recession, she quit.
Not just her job…that would have been way too easy! She quit her house, her job, her life.
She was back at the start again.
Now, unfortunately it wasn’t just in her relationship that Claire was having challenges. You see, her “One of the Boys” persona had meant that she had taken on some pretty masculine traits.
Claire was competitive, continually trying to prove herself, always wanting to lead the charge and a very dominant personality. Unfortunately these were all traits that she brought into her intimate relationships.
Now, I’m not sure if anyone might have mentioned this to you before…but these aren’t exactly traits that men look for in their ideal woman!
Claire moved from relationship to relationship, determined to protect herself from being hurt…by keeping control of everything and ‘fixing’ all of the problems herself.
Claire was tough and independent, and although she really wanted a relationship she was determined to prove that she didn’t need a man.
Funnily enough this strategy didn’t work out so well(!)
She went through relationship after relationship…and it seemed that each one seemed to hurt more than the last.
Life decides on a rather painful intervention
Despite all of this, Claire thought she was doing OK. She had proved that she could be successful in her work, and she thought the relationship stuff would sort itself out over time.
Isn’t it funny how when you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re “fine”, that life has a way of sneaking up on you, smacking you down and suggesting somewhat forcefully that you go “THAT WAY!”
Well, that’s exactly what happened to Claire.
During an event in London Claire got trampled.
She was knocked to the ground where several very large-framed men (who were jumping to catch something) then landed on top of me. She was rushed to hospital where we discovered that her back and neck had been injured.
It felt like I’d hit rock bottom. It was a real low point.
But it was also the turning point. Not just of the year, but of my life.
The Turning Point
Claire learned about masculinity and femininity, for the first time ever….and gave her the first insights into transforming her intimate relationships.You see, when Claire had recovered from my injuries she was given a gift. She got to travel to the other side of the world to go to an event that gave her the key that changed her life completely.
Before this point the only time she’d even considered the concepts of masculinity and femininity was when trying to determine during her G.C.S.E French exams whether a table should have ‘le’ or ‘la’ in front of it!
This was a whole new world. Claire realised that she had been living her entire life with a masculine mask on…and it was hurting her…mentally, emotionally and physically.
Claire finally understood why she had been so unhappy. It was very simple…she wasn’t being herself and she had no idea how to create successful relationships.
It felt like after fumbling around in the dark for years, someone had just switched on the lights.
Claire made a decision there and then. No more. She was going to make a change.
Just the Beginnning…
Claire had no idea that this was just the beginning…
When she got home she made it her mission to learn as much about men, women, dating and relationships as possible. She read books, listened to audio programmes, researched online, watched videos and attended courses. She wanted to know as much as she could.
As the weeks and months went by Claire was making more and more small changes which were completely transforming her life. She felt a confidence she had never experienced before.
This led her to want to know more about relationships, about men and women, about the masculine and feminine…and how to create fantastic, mutually fulfilling relationships in every area of life.
…and the more Claire learned, the better her relationships got, and the more people sought her out to get help, advice and support in their own relationships.
Whether they were single or had been married for years, whether they were men or women, whether they were young or old…Claire was able to help them understand their partner better, understand their relationship better, and to understand how to create the best relationship possible, with some very simple steps.
Through taking what she learned and developing it further, Claire created an intensive video course for single women to help them to attract the relationship that they desire and deserve…and having followed the tools, techniques and principles Claire was able to attract a quality of man and quality of relationship that she had never experienced before.
Not only has it allowed her to find and create the kind of relationship that she really wanted, but also to set herself up for success in her relationship. The insights, techniques and strategies that Claire has developed have allowed her to work with her partner to deepen and improve their relationship as time has gone on, and it continues to grow and improve every day.
… the difference this work has made to Claire, her life and the lives of people around her led her to take the insights and knowledge that she has learned and share it with others to help them transform their relationships in the way that Claire has transformed her own.
Helping people around the world…
Today Claire is an international specialist in Men and Women, Masculinity and Femininity, Dating and Relationships and has helped people all over the world to create success in their relationships.
Claire is a qualified Master NLP Practitioner and Master Life Coach with the American University of NLP as well as a certified Firewalking Instructor with the Firewalking Institute of Research and Education. She has studied the differences between men and women, masculinity, femininity, polarity, dating and relationships with teachers all over the world including Leadership Mastery with Robbins Research International. The creator of numerous programs, Claire is an accomplished speaker, professional trainer and published author as well as a coach and mentor who has helped men, women and businesses in countries around the world.